My This Life

Thursday, August 21, 2008 ♥

♥ 7:59 PM

hi everyone.
for those who are close to me will know tat im damn stress over my JCI audit.
and its now all over!!
to update everyone, nxt wk, i probably be going to bintan. y the word probably?
cos my leave stil not comfirm and i went ahead of the bookings.
but if i were to wait, i don tink i can book anything overnight. common sense rite?
soo.. if she don approve my leave.... den i wil...
cant imagine wad will happen to me.. or her.. or my job.
hahahs! so serious!!!

nxt, im totally broke. can u imagine my bank is left wif pathetic **?
cant wait for my nxt payday!
not to be happy so sooon.. cos i hav to return my mum *** and giv her *** allowance PLUS my savings wif the bf of *** and lastly, the insurance of *** plus ***!
so.. aft much calculating, im oly left wif ***. which i tink i could be oly lookin forward for my another nxt pay day.
SWEAT!

other den my financial copings, its work.
for this past few days, im kinda havin this depress mood.
i hav this anger tat kept inside of me.. and i couldnt release it.
so i develop some evil tots in my mind. i don tink u guys wanna listen to tat. cos aft thinkin bout it, it actually freak me out!
tat moment i tot i had some kind of psy problem already. so i express my inner feelings and tots to my mum. she was so damn shock and suggested tat i ned a counsellor. lols..
was it so bad? i tot..
well.. aft trying so hard to let her knoe tat i ned attention, i felt so much better. =)))
soo.. case close.

in the train when fetchin the bf, i told him tat wen i waas young, i used to inflict pain to myself wen im realy angry and tat i could find no where to express it. hahas~ im a pervert i knoe.
but u see, a lil gurl age of 6-12.. no one teach her how to protect herself! and ppl tends to bully her. she was all so sad. the parents jus let it go cos they tink tat lil kids were jus playing ard. tat pt of time.. this lil gurl was so alone. pity and angry for herself tat y she couldnt hav this courage to stand up for the right. and the lil devil started to do his job. but of cos.. it stop there. thou she is soo quiet. but has many frends. too bad. cos she depend on them so much tat.. till NOW, she find it so hard to defend herself. SERIOUSLY! i hate this side of me so much. tat is the worst i can tell u bout me. haiz..
how i wish i can always feel protected and secured.

k.. at work, i met this pervert!!!!
*slap forehead**
whaaaaalaaoooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
he stil can smile at me while doing TAT ting!!!
damn pissed offf!
PLUS! aft he ****, the **** is all over and PLUS he is diagnose wif ****!! OHMYHEAVENGOD! and worst ting is i hav to be professional and talking to him NICELY.......

aft all its my job.
im a nurse u see..
im here because i wanna help.
but tink bac.. aft all those things i had done.
sometime, its like defeating the purpose of the "im here to help you"
low moral due to job satisfaction not fullfilled.

BUT I WILL STILL HANG ON!
i always complain here and there to my family and bf.
the funny thing is tat aft wen i heard their reply ( nvm lo.. today take MC) or (poor ting. jus resign if u cant take it) i wil stop complaining already. ><
hahahs~ one stress relief word. =X

now i shall end here wif smth meaningful.
mainx share smth wif me which i tot i is sooo wonderful. it gave me bac a lil strength wen i was down.
here goes:
NURSING- TOUGHEST JOB IN THE ENTIRE WORLD
NURSE- STRONGEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!
=DDD

Ernies' ♥

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Liu Peiern
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